Saturday Night Ramblings....

They say,

"

push yourself as much as you can, for now is the time to sow, for as you sow, so shall you reap.

"

I am often treading the thin line on being too obsessive/passionate/compulsive about my vision. Sometimes I feel like I should just let go, be in the moment, go with the flow and see how things turn out. The other part of me tells me to go get it. Achieve. Over achieve. For I don't know how long I will live. I don't really know what's right. It's a dichotomy of sorts. So I just follow what I feel.....

See...throughout my life, I've been in situations where I wished I had done stuff differently, for e.g. while I was in 9th grade getting ready for the 10th grade, I was also a champion martial artist in my division. I had an option to either choose studies or pursue Martial Arts. I gave up Martial Arts, but only half heartedly. I really wished that I had pursued it; for I was excellent! As time passed by, I ended up doing many things just because they were the *right* things to do.

It was in 2003, something happened, and it changed my perspective towards life, FOREVER. That was when I first decided to do things my own way. 4yrs of hard work and juggling my time between socializing, relationships, hard work ethics, traveling and maintaining a close set of friends and hobbies to maintain my sanity, I can completely look back and say that I have had the most wonderful past 4yrs of my life.

I strongly feel like I am neglecting my health @ times. I work too hard, too strict. I am sitting in restrooms with a laptop on my lap so I don't waste a second of my precious time. I don't follow my hard working lifestyle with good nourishment. I don't run, i don't exercise....fatigue is building up.

I got a wake up call last week when I woke up with my teeth hurting bad with all the stress I've put myself into. Apparently, I'm stressed out in the back of my head, even as I sleep and I am clenching my teeth too tight. This causes my jaws to hurt....r-e-a-l b-a-d.

Wakeup calls are good. They remind you that you can't take life for granted for too long. You snooze, you lose. So after a lot of neglect, I've finally started working out, eating good food and of course, sleeping more than I usually do.

How do I feel after all this....P-E-R-F-E-C-T.